My name Martin like three awkward syllables that will never quite roll off your tongue. It’s Annika, and you pronounce it by saying the name “Ann,” followed by the name “Nick” and a moment of realization: “Ah.”
Not Aw-nih-kah, Aw-nee-kah or any other iteration you might be thinking of.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to explain that to other people, only for them to butcher my name the next time we meet.
Remembering any name is hard, and it’s harder when they’re uncommon like mine, so I don’t always blame them. But I still can’t ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach I get when people I’ve corrected multiple times before get it wrong, or when someone doesn’t seem to care enough to ask me.
My name is closely tied to my identity, and mispronunciations weigh more heavily on me than most people think. There’s also the sheer embarrassment and anxiety of interrupting a conversation, work meeting or 250-person class just to correct someone — if I can gather the courage.
It’s something I wish more people could understand, or at least consider. So I decided to find out: How common is my experience with an uncommon name?
Turns out, I’m not alone in feeling this way.
It’s a shared experience full of stress and embarrassment
Before writing this, I posted on my Instagram story hoping to find one or two other people who would be comfortable talking to me about their uncommon name.
Twenty-five people reached out to share their experiences with me, and 21 of them said mispronunciations have been detrimental to them in some shape or form.
″[It] always feels embarrassing and dehumanizing, as if my name is an inconvenience for others and not important to my selfhood and identity,” Johan Alvarado, a San Francisco-based editorial assistant for HarperCollins Publishers, told me.
Sixteen people, including Alvarado, told me their name was sometimes a source of stress or anxiety. Fourteen of them specifically pointed to workplace or classroom situations.
That’s common, says Myles Durkee, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan.
People often perceive mispronunciations as subtle insults, put-downs or invalidations, Durkee says. And whether intentional or completely accidental, those types of microaggressions can affect a person’s mental health.
“They are stressors. Cumulatively, they have a much larger effect on individuals that can lead to negative correlations with mental health over time,” Durkee says.
Studies over the past decade point to the mental health consequences of microaggressions, including low self-esteem, stress, anxiety and depression.
That’s partly why some people opt for alternative ways to say their names.
